Today was Friday. I guess it still is, unless your in Europe, or I guess more than half the world...then it is Saturday already. That is always weird to think about.
Anyway. Today I am not going to write about a tidal wave or light bulbs (someday maybe...but not today): Instead I am going to write about a White Navel Gator. True story...well...part of it is. Ready for it? Because here it comes.
Bob, Little Bob, Big Bob...(because in the Ozarks we don't bother with Jr., Sr., or the I, II, III's...Roman Numerals??? Seriously, if those folks in Rome couldn't spell Numbers then why would we use their idea of putting letters in place of numbers? Duh.) Well, back to the Bob's. They were sitting with Roberta, Grandma Bobbie, and Aunt Maude (bet you thought she was going to be a Bob too...but that would be just TOO confusing). They were at the table having lunch while Uncle Robert was in the living room watching his favorite Bob Newhart episode, when all of a sudden Aunt Maude had one of her rare, but very informative spells. Over the years she had these crazy moments where her eyes roll back in her head, she gets up out of her chair (which is rare, since she only has one leg and a permanently broken foot due to a bobby-pin accident in 1994), and starts spouting off ridiculous things that the Roberts Family have never quite understood. They say it is just Maude having a moment and ignore her. In the past, she has told them they should spend $10,000 on facepage, or headbook, something like that when it had its eye pee oh. She gave them the phone for some lady named Orpha and that they needed to call her. She was looking for someone to come on her showing to help her find some of her favorite things. They never wrote the stuff down, but that's how they remember them. Oh, and the first time, back in the 80's she had told them to go down to the stock boy and ask him to buy some eye BM's. That was the last time they listened to her because the stock boy just gave them a whole bunch of stuff called Visine and Pepto. They drank both of them when they got home and where sick for a month. That stock boy, he really did well with himself though. They still talk about young Warren Buffett to this day and how lucky he was. He bought himself a lot of that computer paper at market and made a lot of money. Funny thing though, he still calls every week to talk to Aunt Maude to check and make sure she is okay and to have her share with him all that goes on at the Roberts house (especially her spells).
Well, today she didn't share too much during her spell. Something about Bits and pieces or Parts and Coins, bits and coins...that is what it was. She also said something about watching out for a White Navel Gator. Then, as quick as it happened, she sat back down, head plopped in her chocolate pudding, and the Bob's got up and went outside. Big Bob told little Bob to go to cousin Williams's and ask him to see if his Aunt Billie had a spare chain saw and bring it to the shop. Then Big Bob headed down the street.
*****
Today I managed to get lost on my way to go pick up a silent auction item for an event. Speeding down a dirt road, I was taking in the scenery and trying to figure out where on earth I was. I passed a really beautiful valley. As I came to base of the hill, I had to cross this little creek. Thank goodness water wasn't over the bridge or I would've had to turn around. I still have flash backs to getting my Jeep high centered when avoiding a flooded crossing years back. I had to walk half a mile in 60 degree weather in a Santa suit. But that is a story for another day.
I crossed the bridge and found what appeared to be a super small village in the middle of absolutely nowhere. I assumed it was just a number of people in a family who built next to each other. As I came around the curve I almost ran smack dab into some fellow carrying a chain saw. I slammed on my breaks then, without even looking at me, he slowly walked across the road to the big guy sitting at what looked like a ran down gas station. I waved sorry (though it wasn't my fault) and kept on going. There was a house for sale at the top of the hill. I looked in the rear view mirror of my white Navigator, thought about it for a brief moment, and then realized I couldn't live that far out of town.
Not sure why I felt like sharing that random moment of my day, but when I drove past that little village I couldn't stop think of Beatrice Arthur and the phrase "Lady Godiva was a freedom rider." So weird.
For now...that is all.
Randomly Yours,
Matt
Matt
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