Okay...second attempt at humor.
Due to my column’s underwhelming success and non-existent feedback, I have decided to continue it. Yes! I will overcome adversity and continue to share with you about those deep thoughts on life that no one else dares to discuss.
Like this month’s topic: Donut holes (this beat out the other nominees: tapioca pudding, gas station burritos and the ever popular jelly beans).
Uh-huh! Donut holes (picture one in your hands). Actually, looking at the bigger picture, I guess I am going to write about oxymoron's. Oxymoron is actually one of my favorite words in the English dictionary. Defined by Webster’s, it means: a combination of contradictory or incongruous words. (basically two opposite words used together.) I mean who came up with these things? Bittersweet, Pretty Ugly, Soft Rock, Act naturally, Plastic glasses, Working vacation, tight slacks, Microsoft Works, I could go on and on...and I will. It is almost like Mr. Webster thought to himself, “how do I assist in making English the hardest language on Earth?” Then he had an epiphany and asked himself aloud, “why not encourage the use of words that mean the exact opposite together!?”
What a stroke of brilliance!
Then, at that moment, the oxymoron was born (well, the word was anyway). Now, as English speaking people we feel compelled to confuse the children of the world by using exact opposites to describe things. So, how, Pray tell, do you explain to a child what the round, doughy piece of food is that you are holding in your hand ? Do you answer “a donut hole” and go on??
I suggest next time, look at them, throw it in your mouth and say... “what food?”
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